a conversation between my mother and my seven year...
nina: teddy pooped
mom: did you step in it?
nina: i stuck my big toe in it to see if it was actually poo
going to school without you is like eating a sandwich without peanut butter– fawaz; poor underclassmen still going to school
summer oh nine lesson five:
if you begin to have an allergic reaction to something in your home, do some investigating to find out what exactly it might be. it might be the cat, but it’s probably pollen; this could be evidenced by the fact that you were fine a few days ago, but then mother’s day rolled around and a billion bouquets of flowers appeared in your house right about the same time the itching began.
summer oh nine lesson four:
take the advice given to you by your drunk grandfather. you might be surprised. “woopsy daisy.”
A life is time, they teach you growing up The seconds ticking killed us all A...– primitive radio gods-“standing outside a broken phone booth” according to a quiz given to me by my mom, this song is “how i feel about life.” it’s funny what your subconscious can tell you about yourself.
summer oh nine lesson three:
a bottle of vodka is NOT worth the trouble. even if it is mango flavored.
ready to die?– grandpa (his response to grandma’s cough attack during dinner)
summer oh nine lesson two:
lock up the chocolate drawer in the fridge. for good. if you don’t, you might find yourself mindlessly snacking after your “bingo night” guests depart and leave you alone with your stash.
summer oh nine lesson one:
when hosting “bingo night,” request that guests take off their shoes. otherwise, cleanup the next morning WILL be a bitch.
it's officially summer
day one of summer has commenced, and last night, to celebrate the end of my high school career, i had a “small get together,” or “bingo night” as we like to call it, at my house. it taught me a few things that i might need to remember for the rest of the summer, which inspired me to create a list of lessons learned for summer oh nine. so, without further ado, this list...
Um, actually, my lip, that’s a cold sore. And I’ve never had a cold...– red (pineapple express)
i'm building a time machine
and it’s only going to the good times. i’ll start in 1776, watch the highlights of the birth of our country. fast forward through wars and disease. 1950s, i’ll come home to mom setting a cherry pie on the windowsill. forget the draft, the war, unhappiness. watch sailors kiss women in the streets upon their return from the fight. i’ll say no thank you to aids, but march the...
last night, as the big hand grew closer to the 12, i began to freak out. “i’m going to be an adult. i can’t do this. i want to be a kid!” i was convinced that the second the clock struck midnight and it was officially my 18th birthday, my life would be over. so in honor of the end of my short life, here’s a short list of my newly gained privileges as an adult in the...
now that high school is coming to an end, i’ve been reminiscing the past four years with friends. some days can be recalled with incredible detail, others forgotten as if they’d never happened. all this talk of the past made me realize that even though i’m beyond excited to start the next chapter of my life in college, i’m also incredibly scared of what the future has in...
dude i’m totally gonna hook up with a girl this weekend.– as opposed to what, matt? a guy?