i’m around a bunch of girls all day who cry because they lost their...– pc; nyc prep.
i just went through all the books on my bookshelves and picked out all the ones i haven’t read yet. these are my mission for summer: gargoyles-thomas bernhard practical demonkeeping-christopher moore bloodsucking fiends-christopher moore bombshell-lynda curnyn 20 times a lady-karyn bosnak middlesex-jeffrey eugenides the book of bright ideas-sandra king the secret life of bees-sue...
if you’re going to remember anything from your past, then do so fondly...– grandpa; 20 times a lady.
and then she spit her milk all over the floor
nina: you're so lucky mom's here.
me: why? because you would hurt me?
mom: i was pretty right on with your first initial...
me: n? nasty?
me: oh wait, you didn't say my middle initial.
mom: no. b-
me: bitch nasty.
me: bitch nasty winters. i like it.
me and my brother, we were born. like, everyone was born, but we were born at...– emmett
megan: where are you going next year?
emmett: lynn, i have a facebook. add me, i'll definitely accept your friend request.
megan: i don't even know your name.
summer oh nine lesson nineteen:
contrary to lesson eleven, it’s okay to break the rules.
3 days till orlando 9 days till california 11 days till camping 29 days till hawaii 50 days till college this is all coming a bit too quickly.
dear credit, how am i expected to get any of you if i’m always denied a credit card? obviously i don’t have credit if it’s my first time applying for a credit card. but don’t i need one to establish credit for myself? am i crazy? is there something i’m missing? i just want to be as irresponsible as the rest of the world with my money and spend spend spend! gimme one...
just something i was thinking in the car
if it’s a thought; if it’s love; if it’s religion; if it’s just something you feel passionately about, you feel ten time stronger about it after someone tries to knock it down. you feel a hundred times stronger about it after no one sympathizes, agrees, or reciprocates your emotion, feeling, or belief. you feel a thousand times stronger about it once you realize that...
overheard outside the bank
man: that tasted like carbonated cough syrup.
woman: i've never tried a red bull before, let's see if i get high!
summer oh nine lesson eighteen:
if you thought things couldn’t get any better, you were right. they can only get worse. and they will.
useless fact #23:
i don’t appreciate being underappreciated.
i like you by sandol stoddard warburg
i like you and i know why. i like you because you are a good person to like. i like you because when i tell you something special, you know it’s special and you remember it a long, long time. you say, remember when you told me something special and both of us remember when i think something is important you think it’s important too we have good ideas when i say something funny, you...
useless fact #22:
if the chance should present itself that someone is dumb enough to buy my bullshit, i will feed it to them, happily.
overheard in the ticket line at the movies
girl 1: ..sarasota, by canada.
girl 2: sarasota's in florida!
girl 1: no, i mean sarasota the state!
girl 2: you mean minnesota?
girl 1: oh, yeah...right.
summer oh nine lesson seventeen:
if the book made you cry, the movie will make you cry ten times harder.
the zero play count playlist is officially empty. i’m not sure if i like this or not.
jonah: what did you people do with the dog?
frank: we put him in the oven. it was the only thing to do.
he told me there was a live chicken in the hatbox. the chicken was quiet, he...– cat’s cradle
jonah: a minute ago you said something about jesus.
Jonah: jesus christ.
castle: oh. him. people have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working oder, so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say.
two things i learned from drink play f@#k
most people just want to live a fun life. if they have a chance to do it again, they prefer to live an interesting life. and if they get a final crack at it, they choose to live a good life. why not do all three at once? being lucky is such a fickle concept. you grasp on to it during good times and then lament its absence when things go south. if you’re too convinced that you’ve been...
can you imagine how popular this place would be if going outside didn’t...– “bob” of drink play f@#k, on the city of las vegas.
jonah: this is what i'd call a hotel with a real heart. how many hotel owners would take such a direct interest in the comfort of a guest?
castle: how many hotel owners have just one guest?
jonah: you used to have three.
castle: those were the days.
does anyone know of a place hiring dogs as labor? because mine’s a little short on cash and he owes me three new pairs of shoes. not only rainbows, but vans and running shoes. my most popular footwear. ruined. and i know that american businesses, despite our current economic crisis, still aren’t accepting kibble as a form of currency.